And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
