She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
