Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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