You really coming over, don't trick.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
