I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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