Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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