I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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