If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
