I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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