Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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