Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
