one word: firstdatebathroomanal
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
