you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
