Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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