It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize