Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Quick, to the slutcave!
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
