dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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