its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
