Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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