can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You ruined the universe
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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