you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
