turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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