We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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