so let's talk penis.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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