Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
