to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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