i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
