just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
