..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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