were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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