my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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