She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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