who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
