Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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