Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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