i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
