I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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