finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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