This is not my ceiling
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
