im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
