she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
