The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
well you can't waste a boner
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
