so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
