i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
how drunk are you?
Several
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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