PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
