If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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