How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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