I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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