Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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