omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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