Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
