Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
