I'm going to jail i love you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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