weddingsv make me drug and hornr
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize