there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
