At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
