Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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