I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
