Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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