seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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